The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

Ok, so am I the only one who wishes they could lose 10 pounds in a month and a half? Go cold turkey on not eating any more empty carbs? exercize everyday and instantly create the habit? In my wise 27 years, I have learned that I just need to realize dreams and goals never happen in huge chunks. I am just not capable of changing that fast! So, this year, for new years, instead of setting the goal to go to the gym 3 days a week, and eat a completely healthy diet, I decided to take baby steps.

After reading the article in Oprah's magazine in Jan (the first time i read her mag by the way...if they are all as good as Jan.'s issue, I am hooked!) I came across her article about her battle to lose weight, and who it was that helped her. Bob Greene has now become a celebrity because of his association with Oprah. HIs philosophies really aren't anything new, just really really easy to digest ( no pun intended). His whole thing is to start realistically by just upping your activity level first for the first month. then, start by cutitng back on empty calories, replacing them with more veggies, fruits and whole grains. the process starts there, as you then gradually increase your activity level, and let your body get in the habit of wanting to eat right and stay active. There is really no secret (well, he has a few helpful hints to keep you going...like don't eat after 7 pm, etc.) But it got me thinking, I can do that!

So, I did! Jan was my month to just start moving more! I didnt realize that by the end of the day, I wasn't tired because I had run and biked across my apartment, I was exhausted because I was taking care of two babies...which actually involves a lot of sitting and standing. my body was slouched and tired! I needed more strength than I had! So, I started with Tae Bo, walking and stretching. Gradually moving to weights, and cycling (spinning class) 3 times a week. I feel so great! I am not losing weight as Fast as I would like, but I am getting inches off (I think...at least kenneth says I am). I am gaining a lot more muscle, which weighs more than fat, so that must be why. It took me three weeks to really get addicted. Now, if i go a day without really getting my heart rate up, I feel sluggish, and lazy. Even just doing jumping jacks with my kids works. Kenneth says that my morning spinning class is my dose of prozac for the day. I don't have depression, but man! the days that I exercize, I feel sexy, I am nice to my kids all day, and I just feel happy! so, even if the weight is coming off slower than I'd like, it is worth is, since I am feeling better. and isn't that the point? life is enjoyed so much more that way.

As far as eating, I am doing a lot better. I am realizing even more, that when I feed my body the fuel that it needs to get through my days (which are hard!!) I do so much better. If I eat food my body can use, it uses it, and I feel light and energized. When I let myself have junk, I feel like junk. It's really that easy. But the hard part is reminding myself that when I REALLY want chocolate for lunch:) It has also helped that I have just gotten rid of the tempting stuff. I just threw it away. And, it helps too, that my husband really feels the same way. Last night, between teaching and driving up to SLC for his master's class, he picked up Carls Junior. And this morning, he felt sick! In his own words: "i never thought I would see the day where Carl's Junior wasn't appetizing anymore" So, having a husband that is all for fish and broccolli and whole wheat couscous for dinner is great!

So, this is my quest: baby steps. One new good habit at a time. If I bite off more than I can chew, I will just end up spitting it out. So far, this is working because I am letting myself really get used to my new way of doing things. and I am feeling great!

In memory of Grandma

These past few weeks have been a time of a lot of contemplation, pondering, gratitude, tears, joy and change. My grandma died on Feb 6 in her homeland of hawaii at the age of 70. She got a bladder infection, and as it went untreated, it went into her blood stream causing septisemia(sp?) and within 48 hours she was gone. Just two days before she died, so a few hours before she got really sick, she and grandpa called on their cell phones to sing "Head, shoulders knees and toes" to addie. Oh how I wish I could have recorded that.

Grandma is a second mother to me. Being out here in Utah without my own mom with me all the time, I have some to spend more intimate time with Janet. I call her Janet a lot, since Kenneth does...as well as it just fits her. She called me "child of my Heart". We were both cancer signs...children of the moon and water...which she would always use to define the deeper meaning of any physical or emotional troubles. For those of you who don't know her, I am sorry. She was an incredibly unique woman, and I really don't think that I could accurately describe her personality. It is so deep, unique, hilarious, eclectic and wonderful. But here are somethings that I love about her:

She was an island girl

She loved the ocean.

She talked to plant and animals. I am sure they talked back to her

She had the greenest thumb I have ever seen. She could touch the deadest plant, and it would bloom.

She was blunt yet understanding

She was a mermaid. She never got out of the water

SHe was an AMAZING cook. there is a phrase in our house "Janet Salads" or "Janet soups". She was an artist in the kitchen and could concoct the most organic, colorful, delicious food out of nothing. well, everything, but how she did it and with what, we never knew.

She was a master at just BEING.

She taught yoga for over 35 years, and still practiced till the day she died

She was immortal. I never considered her a "senior". It was the tan I guess:)

She was always spontanious. Any little hitch in the routine she turned into an adventure.

To her favorite things, she would always respond "oh...it's WONderful!"

She was intune with her self, the earth, God, and all that was around her. She was always present.

She always had dirt in the back seat (and under her nails) during the spring and summer (planting season)

She always brought over left over avacados and spinach (she must have gotten them at costco)

She taught me to love the ocean, people for who they were, flowers, color, yoga, breathing, life for what it gives you.

She loved, even CRAVED diversity.

She craved beauty.

Oh I could go on and on and on. She was (is) one of my best friends. I have felt such a void with her gone, yet in some ways I feel her even closer than I did before. She taught me so much. I always felt like she KNEW me. I have so much that I wanted to learn from her still. THat is the hardest part. She knew so much. She was wise to the very core. Kenneth comforted me though, when he mentioned that I have access to the same power that she had. so true. I feel such an urge to learn and live in the ways that she tried to. It gives me comfort since I feel like I can pass on some of her legacy. I have found myself forgiving more freely, eating more healthy, doing more yoga, breathing, surrounding myself with more beauty, reading, meditating, just BEING and accepting what comes in life without a fight. These are things that she taught me, and I want to embody in myself. I makes me feel closer to her, and in some ways, keeps her with me always. I love you grandma.

here it goes

ok, So it is about time to start up again. I was on a blogging kick a year ago, for a few months, and then, like most things I do, I lost the fire and it died down to a slow stop. Well, since new years, I have been trying to follow through with projects, tasks and goals. Things are going well in the exercize department, better in the health department, but still not so great in the house keeping department. I find a great new way to be effecient, and then I efficiently get side tracked. So, now I am trying the blogging world, and I am going to stick to this. I really need a place where I can keep in touch with friends and family, and post my thoughts in a concrete way that is free from the chaos of sweet but distracting laughter and babbling.

At this point in my life, after having had 2 babies in one year (well, one year and 18 days) I am just now starting to defragmanet my brain and make sense of things. It has been a blissful yet chaotic two years. the hardest, but the best. I have totally given myself to my little family...mind, body and soul. And while it has been so rewarding (I still can never get enough I love you's, kisses, and hugs) it has also been filled with enough sleep deprivation that I wonder and marvel that I managed to make sense to all of you in phone conversations (maybe you were just sympathetic:)

So, in my quest to regain a sense of my own individuality again, I am blogging. We'll see how this goes. I am hoping many of you will pitch in, share your feelings, and realize that maybe we are in the same boat...striving to live our best life. Taking moment for moment, being grateful for the gorgeous ride of life...bumps and all. So, here' goes!