Fearless.

Ask me if I want to watch an action flick, and I'll say no, unless it means I get to snuggle up with my husband. Being married to a man with a black belt and a love for martial arts means that I have slowly, over the past 6 years of marriage, grown to tolerate fighting on the screen...but only the bloodless, martial arts kind that is artistic and has a deeper purpose than just sport (well, Rocky, I guess, is an exception). But last night, we both watched an incredible movie: Fearless. It is evidently Jet Li's last film. It is a chinese film, with subtitles...a lot like the "crouching tiger, hidden dragon" style of movie. Beautiful cinematography, the setting is just beautiful, and the virtuous message is one that I couldn't stop thinking about. I won't review the movie here....you can go see it. But the tag line of the film is "Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself makes you fearless". This film is actually based on a true story and portrays a man who is obsessed with glory, and eventually after losing everything, masters himself, his obsessions and his suffering to achieve peace with himself, others, and his nation.

So, what about this message inspires me? I am not neccessarily obsessed with power and glory, but I do, at times, find myself wanting to control my environment rather than myself. In the chaos of motherhood, it is easy to fall into the temptation that as soon as I can clean the house, i will feel peace...when I get dinner on the table, and get the kids to bed I will feel successful. All these things are neccessary and do bring a sense of accomplishment. But the truth is, and the movie teaches this, there is never an end to those quests of control and power. The real path is in self mastery and discipline. I will never feel lasting power and control in my outside circumstances because they never end, and pursuing that path only leads to being out of control (in the movie, Jet Li seeks to control the circumstances outside of himself until he loses SO much, that he is forced to realize that his power is nothing compared.) So, he runs away, isolates himself from his old life, and starts over, realizing that peace and harmony is a process, not a product. It will not come to you, you must create it inside of you. It's the WAY you live your life, not what happens to you along the way.

So, I will clean the house, and make dinner, and get the children to bed. But all these things, I will never be a master over. The house will undo itself, dinner will need to be cleaned up and made again, and the children will wake up and I will start all over. If I only seek power over my day, I will not always win. But fighting (or living) is not about 'winning'. It is about mastering self, and becoming better every day. So, instead of fighting against the chaos of my day, I can fight to be a better person because of it. And in this, I am becoming closer to God, and his purpose for me. But, this is the hardest thing to face...ourselves. Can I face my weaknesses and faults and overcome by being humble and seeking my strength from God? That is the challenge. The Key, is that With God, We can never lose. And it is when we find this place in our souls, that we become 'fearless'. I've got a ways to go, but I am inspired.